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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Burger King "Klingons"


See the commercial here.

Synopsis: A geeky sci-fi fanboy, inexplicably living somewhere other than in his parents' refinished basement, settles down to a nice, romantic dinner of Burger King take-out with his ethnically-ambiguous girlfriend and embarrassed dog, "Tiberius," when three Klingon medieval monarchist mimes arrive via transporter beam to steal his coveted Star Trek glasses.


Nothing could possibly ruin this magical evening


Um ... okay ...

Message: Burger King and Star Trek -- two things not normally associated with having a life -- are a winning combination.


"Don't mess with me -- I'm a Greater San Diego Starfleet Cadet!"

Subliminal Message: In an alternate fantasy universe, your love of cheesy commemorative merchandise makes you cool.


Chick magnets

"I want to have your baby."

Memorable Moment: After the creepy Klingons paralyze his dog and seize his glasses, Fanboy dejectedly exclaims, "Why don't you just take my girlfriend, while you're at it?"


Cherished items stolen while disposable girlfriend recoils in fear

"I don't know ... she doesn't look like she has a very rigid spine."

Disturbing Aspect: Fanboy is willing to casually relinquish the only woman who's ever been willing to share a couch with him to a lifetime of agonizing physical toil and/or sexual slavery at some intergalactic Klingon gulag.

"You've just been getting a little bossy lately."


"I'd give you this one, but you wouldn't be able to walk afterward."


Well, I guess it's back to the ol' Victoria's Secret catalog ...

Burning Questions: Wasn't the non-Klingon "King" preternaturally grotesque enough, without burying a cheese-grater in his forehead? Did it trouble anyone at Burger King that no Klingons actually appear in the Star Trek movie? Is it legal to electrocute a dog outside the State of Mississippi?


I need a new agent.

Overall Loathsomeness: 7.0

Mitigating Factor: Tiberius committed suicide shortly after the release of this commercial.

4 comments:

  1. Not the Victoria Secret catalog, the Sears catalog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, more likely, if there still was one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is very nice blog. Really is Amazing thing to write a blog such a nice wat to help others.

    Visit :- Burger Trek

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I always try to find a way to help others, whether it's by working at a soup kitchen, donating to local charities, or writing a snarky blog about TV commercials. Oh, and thanks for the spam.

      Delete

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