Sunday, June 7, 2009
See the commercial here.
Synopsis: A divorced, defeated, and disoriented father comes home after a long morning of binge drinking and pretending to play tennis to find his three unattractive daughters wearing his boyhood clothes and intrusively texting their friends about his pathetic social life.
"Christ -- you're still here?"
Desperately dishing about Dad
Unfortunately, the Abigail Breslin look never really caught on
Message: T-Mobile's unlimited calling plan offers an easy, economical way to endure your court-mandated custody weekends by giving your resentful, psychologically-scarred children a time-killing activity to occupy their fleeting attention while you pursue your new-found interest in stalking old high school girlfriends on Facebook.
Eldest daughter repulsed by sight of father in shorts ...
... while youngest slips into protective catatonic state
Subliminal Message: Cell phones make up for broken marital vows and shoddy parenting.
"Please don't beat us again."
Memorable Moment: The middle daughter hesitantly reports to her drunken dad that she told her best friend's grandmother that he's "available." Then the youngest daughter, apparently aware that her father is desperate for sex, matter-of-factly adds that the horny granny thinks he's "superdelicious."
On the prowl
Off the wagon
Disturbing Aspect: Dad is intrigued by the sexual interest of an elderly woman he's never met, asking, "What does she look like?"
"Does she still have her teeth?"
Burning Questions: How is it possible that this idiot ever convinced a woman to bear him children? Why does he look like he just spent the night in a homeless shelter? Why does this commercial appear to be set in 1977?
Statistically, one of their Faves must be Kevin Bacon
Overall Loathsomeness: 9.3
Mitigating Factor: Mom evidently escaped from this suburban freakshow long ago.
Posted by The Editor at 5:00 PM