See the commercial here.
Synopsis: An ex-babysitter with boundary issues turned usurping second wife shamelessly bids for the reluctant affections of her newly-acquired, not-yet-obese stepchildren with the promise of a movie and popcorn, when Joe the Plumber, perhaps attracted by a vase of bright yellow sunflowers, suddenly tries to break into the house, setting off the family's Brinks Home Security alarm and prompting a phone call from the on-duty Ken doll at Brinks' dispatch center, who calmly diverts police resources from more serious emergencies before charging the customer a $99 reactivation fee.
"Brinks Home Security -- how may my hair help you?"
Message: Brinks will stop malicious intruders from entering your home to commit brazen acts of theft, mayhem, and violence. Unless they're not afraid of loud noises -- then you're screwed.
Thanks to Obama, thuggish, illiterate white men must turn to crime
Subliminal Message: You may think you're safe, but you're never more than one popped kernel away from handing over the good silverware at knifepoint.
Wire cutters sold separately
Memorable Moment: While the older child jumps up immediately in response to Stepmom's panicked screeching, her defiant little brother remains planted in front of the TV set which has raised him since birth.
He'll have to pry Teddy from my cold, dead hands.
Disturbing Aspect: The children's movie is a North Korean animated film about capitalist trolls who live in the sewer and eat their young.
Coming up next: "A Clockwork Orange"
Burning Questions: Was anyone injured in the tornado that blew the roof off the house? Why did Stepmom lead the kids to a small upstairs room from which there is no apparent escape? Are we still getting popcorn?
God watches potential tragedy unfold from above; does nothing
Overall Loathsomeness: 5.5
Mitigating Factor: If the alarm system fails, resulting in your death, Brinks will take 10% off your next purchase.