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Monday, July 13, 2009

Viagra "Anniversary"


See the commercial here.

Synopsis: While covertly leafing through yellowed copies of Nixon-era Playboy magazines in his well-lit attic, an amiable, wang-challenged doofus stumbles upon a box of wedding items and decides that his 30-year-old powder-blue tuxedo, a dozen long-stem roses, and 150 milligrams of sildenafil citrate are all he needs to kick off a romantic bout of anniversary love-making.


If only he could have found the box labeled "Manhood"

Message: Viagra -- it's not just for elderly perverts anymore.


Clueless husband playfully mimics statue of fallen angel Lucifer ...


... while sex-starved wife looks up from letter to secret lover in dismay

Subliminal Message: Sudden drop in blood pressure, headaches, flushing, upset stomach, abnormal vision, and hearing loss are a small price to pay for motivating yourself to get it on with the same woman you've seen every goddamn day for the past three decades.


At 200 mg, lab rats' hearts exploded

Memorable Moment: Faced with the daunting task of having to carry his wife and her unlost baby weight up an entire flight of stairs while struggling to see through an enveloping blue haze, Hubby appears ready to abandon the project altogether until the wife handles it herself, just as she's had to handle her own pleasure throughout the best years of her life.


Should have bought that ranch ...

Disturbing Aspect: Viagra's cheerful STD warning is superimposed over cherished family photos of Grandma Heida as a young girl in Poland.


On the plus side, you might get an erection lasting longer than 4 hours

Burning Questions: How was Hubby able to produce a bouquet of freshly-cut flowers from the attic at a moment's notice? Will two-and-a-half minutes of utterly predictable intercourse be worth the $40 co-pay? When will Mr. Tux be able to urinate again?


"Monkey Humping Ripe Fruit" couch pattern heightens the sexual tension

Overall Loathsomeness: 6.7

Mitigating Factor: On last year's anniversary, he came down in his wife's wedding dress.

6 comments:

  1. Erection longer than 4 hours? You are officially a human hat-rack!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ok, Now THIS one is my favorite spoof...Nice job!

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  3. We probably could devote the entire blog just to ED commercials ... but this delightful gem holds a special place in our hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This one is brilliant. Although I think I like the Cialis one a smige more.

    ReplyDelete

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