Thursday, August 27, 2009

Olive Garden "Date Night"

See the commercial here.

Synopsis: On a night when her increasingly distant husband is working late again with his eager new administrative assistant / step aerobics partner Gary, a lonely, morally-flexible woman desperate for heterosexual affection and sub-par pseudo-Italian food takes her befuddled but intrigued teenage son out for a date at Olive Garden, where, fighting rising jealously, she tries to determine if he's been seeing someone else on the side.

Me? Date my MOM ... ?

I LIKE it!

Message: When you're here, you're one messed-up family.

Just wait 'till the guys hear about THIS ...

Subliminal Message: What happens at Olive Garden stays at Olive Garden.

You have to admit, they make a cute couple.

Memorable Moment: Shaggy's response to his mother's seductive Olive Garden overture is, "Ooo ... breadsticks."

Freud would have a field day with this ...

Disturbing Aspect: You mean, besides a middle-aged woman hitting on her own kid?

Mom coyly asks son if he's ever been with an older woman ...

... then bursts into tears when he flirts with younger waitress

Burning Questions: What is the age of consent at Olive Garden? Will Mom invite her son back to her place after dinner? What's the phone number of Mary Kay Letourneau's lawyer?

"Um ... that's NOT a breadstick ..."

I hope she's not a cuddler -- I've got band practice tomorrow.

Overall Loathsomeness: 6.9

Mitigating Factor: They somehow were able to keep down the Grilled Chicken Crostada.


  1. I think I'm going to puke up my endless salad bowl.

  2. Wow -- it took almost four years to get a comment on this one. But it was worth the wait.

  3. Is that a breadstick or am I getting a popsicle after dinner.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.