Thursday, September 3, 2009

Boeing "Why We're Here"

See the commercial here.

Synopsis: Young graduates of Boeing's corporate brainwashing program carefully selected for their non-ugliness and earnest demeanor rationalize the company's relentless quest to satisfy its greedy stockholders and rip off U.S. taxpayers with a series of meaningless feel-good images and patriotic slogans borrowed from the McCain-Palin presidential campaign.

Ted from IT stands in front of undeliverable 787 Dreamliner

Message: Boeing loves America.

"Look, honey -- it's already obsolete!"

Subliminal Message: Screw you, Seattle!

Another load of cash arrives from the Defense Department

Meanwhile, Boeing execs chortle over latest round of layoffs

Memorable Moment: A Boeing aerospace engineer proudly shows off her new $55 million paper airplane.

"Where do the, um ... people go?"

Protecting America is really BORING

Disturbing Aspect: An armed helicopter drone monitors a possibly-pregnant employee-spokeswoman to ensure that she doesn't "accidentially" veer off script.

That's it ... don't forget to smile ...

One set of giant Boeing coffee filters can serve an entire battalion

Burning Questions: Did Boeing board members cry when the Cold War ended? Can Boeing see Russia from its house? If a jet engine falls into a forest and no one is there to get pulverized by it, does it make a sound?

Fuel line bursts on overbudget F-22 approaching USS Ronald Reagan

Ready to take on the Soviet Union

Overall Loathsomeness: 8.8

Mitigating Factor: In the past 6 months, Boeing has created 3,000 new jobs ... for PR reps.


  1. F/A-18 it is, not sure Boeing builds the F-22

    1. You may be right about that being an F/A-18, but Boeing does build the F-22, as well, in consortium with Lockheed Martin.


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