Thursday, September 24, 2009
See the commercial here.
Synopsis: While taking a somber ride through scenic Burbank in their soul-crushing Honda Pilot douchemobile, a bald, sweater-vested man and his brooding grandson are stopped by a group of geriatric nudists in a crashed hot air balloon which is not actually blocking their path, and, bravely ignoring the repulsive sight of God's wrinkled creation, give the unclothed aviators a lift back to Orange County, driving in reverse.
Charlie's announcement that he's gay pretty much ruined fishing trip
An all-too-common sight on America's open roadways
"Lucky for you, I left my gun at one of those town halls."
Message: Sure, it's an ostentatious behemoth, but there are many practical, everyday uses for the Pilot's eight-passenger transport capacity and non-stick neoprene seat covers.
Looks great on watered-down alkali flats of New Mexico
Subliminal Message: You'd never be able to fit a bunch of paunchy naked strangers into your Prius.
"Christ -- that guy's got more folds than an accordion."
They'll be seeing C. Everett Koop in their nightmares
Memorable Moment: Grandpa seems stymied by the balloon basket sitting in the middle of the road, apparently reluctant to drive his rugged, versatile SUV a few feet along the perfectly flat ground on the shoulder, to the left of the temporary fence erected by underpaid commercial production assistants. Shortly after, as the Pilot backs away with its crew, the balloon itself mysteriously vanishes, perhaps as a metaphor for the elusiveness of human dignity and sensible, non-embarrassing cars.
There's no way around it -- they'll have to turn back
The real balloon is inside each and every one of us
Disturbing Aspect: It's unclear how long the balloonists spent crouched inside the basket before help arrived, or what exactly they were doing while they waited, but the male-to-female ratio is 4:2, and some of them look happier about it than others.
What happens in the basket stays in the basket -- sometimes, literally
Burning Questions: Are nudists not allowed to carry cell phones, or is it just that they have no place to put them? Couldn't these people have at least slid the basket to the side of the road before they drove away? If the highway patrol pulls the Pilot over, will Grandpa be arrested for corrupting a minor?
No amount of Lysol will eradicate the psychological damage
Overall Loathsomeness: 6.0
Mitigating Factor: It took Honda's determined ad team of former cartoonists and failed screenwriters all night and a dozen pots of coffee, but they finally came up with a scenario in which the Pilot's ballyhooed rearview camera might come in handy.
Posted by The Editor at 7:00 PM