Tuesday, November 3, 2009

AAFT "Camping"


See the commercial here.

Synopsis: A brave, budget-conscious, upper-lower-middle-class family of four borrowed from a nearby Wal-Mart shoot heroically escapes judgmental big-city health nuts and tax-happy liberal Democrats by driving its cash-burning 10 mpg Chrysler minivan into a scenic lakeside campsite, where it is blissfully free to enjoy the simple pleasures of mercury-saturated trout and cheap, life-shortening soda.


"No one will persecute us out here!"


"Put this insulin pump in a safe place, Johnny."

Message: Giant, multinational beverage corporations care about simple, stupid folk like you.


Spacious tent offers stunning view of Lake Pepsico


Also great for removing rust from your trailer or ATV

Subliminal Message: You won't need your teeth when you go to Jesus.


I hope two liters per person is enough ...


Father reflects over grave of eldest child who died of obesity

Memorable Moment: Not having sufficient funds left over from vital soda purchases to acquire appropriate gear, Dad and the kids go fishing without bait and tackle.


After unloading tenth cooler of sugary drinks, group heads off


"If there's no soda tax, maybe we can buy fishing line next year."


"Mom! Mom! Look what the director gave us!"

Disturbing Aspect: Despite its having zero nutritional value, the family considers soda to be part of a well-balanced meal.


Corn syrup brings people closer together


"Don't forget to save room for your freedom fries."

Burning Questions: When exactly did carbonated liquids become "food"? Why did Johnny change into a sweatshirt before lunch? Where do they sell that "Soda" brand soda?


"Why does Congress hate us and our way of life?"

Overall Loathsomeness: 9.6

Mitigating Factor: No one actually drinks any of the soda in this commercial.
Posted by The Editor at 2:00 PM

7 comments:

  1. I've commented twice on my own blog concerning the loathsome "Washington- Don't Tax My Family's Soda" commercials. This garbage is too much- what, if they can't cart along gallons of corn syrup, the family won't be able to go camping and fishing any more? Give me a freaking break. SODA IS NOT FOOD. Oh, and BREAKING STICKS ACROSS YOUR LEG DOESNT MAKE YOU A GREAT AMERICAN. Ugh.
    ReplyDelete
  2. You sound like a Socialist. To quote the commercial, "Taxes never made anyone healthy." Unless, of course, you count the millions of Americans who've given up smoking at least in part because cigarette taxes have made it such an expensive habit to maintain. But that's just more socialism talk.
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  3. I'll embrace socialism, or at least lefty liberalism, and say bring on the soda tax! These commercials just make me even MORE in favor of tax...that and the fact that the average school-aged child today consumes 1000 calories/day from soda, sweet tea, or Sunny D (which is NOT juice!).
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  4. The agribiz conglomerate sponsoring this atrocity would score points in this Canadian's eyes if the campaign were a bit more brazen; they should call it "Corporate Jerks Against Lower Profits."
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  5. Naturally, there's no suggestion from the soda companies that they could refrain from raising their own prices (or absorb the cost of the proposed tax) in order to help out their financially struggling customers.
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  6. the other commercial where she won't let the kid rent a 99 cent movie, because she's gotta buy a 3 liter bottle of corn syrupy "soda"? FUCK HERrrr
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  7. Soda is JUNK food. Taxing it is not the same as Taxing cigarettes, which are literally toxic and chemichaly adictive. It is pure human decision which leads to soda- induced illnesses. As in, you can quit anytime. No where does it say in the U.S. Constitution that the government should protect from dumb choices.
    -Zenith27
    p.s. I do hate these commercials too, on the "Soda is Food" premise.
    ReplyDelete

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