Monday, November 30, 2009
See the commercial here.
Synopsis: A pizza-faced, semi-retarded teenager, "Tyler B.," camps out in a drug store for 87 days, heroically foregoing all personal grooming and hygiene, waiting for the answer to his socially-crippling acne problem to magically materialize before him, until a Yoda-like pharmacist convinces him to see an actor portraying his doctor, who prescribes a gel portraying an effective treatment.
Tyler sets up base camp in world's largest acne aisle ...
... unwittingly blocks elderly shopper from Stridex pads ...
... and finally succumbs to Clearasil-induced delirium
Message: Contrary to what Elmo told you, it's what's on the outside that counts.
Because no one gives a shit about your personality
Subliminal Message: You're hideous.
"Undateable, you are."
Circling pimples with Day-Glo paint is sure to help
Memorable Moment: Tyler is stumped by the term "medical condition."
Another fine product of America's educational system
CAT scan later revealed that acne had spread to his brain
"Oh yeah, like, the doctor -- I get it; heh-heh [snort] ... "
Disturbing Aspect: Once Tyler's acne dissipates, cute girls hang on his every stammering word, overlooking his far more serious mental and emotional issues.
"Your relatively unblemished complexion turns us on."
"Clear skin makes him so funny and not gross!"
"Sometimes I set crickets on fire."
Burning Questions: Doesn't this kid have enough going against him without the Vulcan haircut? Why would a dermatologist need a stethoscope to treat someone with acne? When will Walgreens install public showers?
"Your pimples have lived long and prospered."
Overall Loathsomeness: 8.3
Mitigating Factor: After successfully defeating his acne, Tyler left the drug store and moved into a nearby JCPenney, where he's vowed to remain until he finds a solution to his unrelated bed-wetting problem.
Posted by The Editor at 11:00 PM