Saturday, December 5, 2009
See the commercial here.
Synopsis: Three freely-available, empty-headed women, weary of the tedious logistical demands of being sexual turnstiles, gather in a candlelit living room to discuss the pros and cons of placing hormone-leaching foreign objects inside their bodies to prevent accidentally creating blessed little miracles who might interfere with their ability to bed shallow, commitment-phobic men.
With Wii on the fritz, conversation turns to birth control
Message: That two seconds a day you spend taking the pill can be put to better use wondering whether a small plastic hoop is still wedged below your uterus.
Phoebe shows how to put it in
Laura is frightened ... yet intrigued
Whitney Houston can't bear to watch
"Bobby used to make me do things like that."
Subliminal Message: You might want to double-check it after horseback riding.
Violating God's law has never been easier
Memorable Moment: NuvaRing pays actors to watch its commercials.
"Oh -- I saw this on Pointless Planet!"
At Club NuvaRing, things are looking HOT
It's surprisingly roomy in there
Disturbing Aspect: Date-stamped water ballerinas lie on their backs and rhythmically move their legs open and closed to the NuvaRing theme song.
Just in case anyone forgot what it's for
Thursday goes rogue
Burning Questions: Who's turn is it to host next week's NuvaRing party? Do discarded NuvaRings that end up in environmentally-sensitive wetlands pose any threat to long-necked aquatic birds? Have three superficially attractive women ever made sex seem like more of a drag?
Loss of irises occurs in less than 6% of all users
Overall Loathsomeness: 8.2
Mitigating Factor: Anything that keeps these dingbats from reproducing can't be bad.
Posted by The Editor at 5:00 PM