Monday, January 25, 2010

Levi’s “Pioneers”

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See the commercial here.

Synopsis: Greasy, panting teenagers and young adults run wild across a recreation of the long-vanished U.S. countryside, trying to celebrate or reject something, until getting bored and deciding to start randomly fighting and coupling with each other instead.

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“We’re opposed to what again?”

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“OMG – it’s rain!  Someone posted about this on Facebook!”

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Teens eagerly launch themselves at The Man

Message: Buying a pair of jeans at Target is somehow a revolutionary act.

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Marxism never looked so hot

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“You can’t make me wear corduroy – you don’t have that right!”

Subliminal Message: Nothing affirms the rebellious, freedom-loving spirit of American youth like donning clothing made for a profit-hungry, multinational corporation in the airless garment factories of Lesotho and Guatemala.

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Liberation Day (not pictured: unhip Third-World sweatshop workers)

Memorable Moment: Brave button-flyers attempt to topple the Establishment with sticks and sex.

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This will wake up those fat cats in Washington!

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All he could find was a set of antlers, but don’t ask how he got ’em

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Speaking of Levi … this is exactly how little Tripp was conceived

Disturbing Aspect: Dazed kids, having become strangely attracted to fire, act out an MTV version of Lord of the Flies.

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It’s like an Olympics for idiots

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All they need now is a boar’s head and some Mountain Dew

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The Founding Fathers would be proud

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“Dude – we should totally put this on YouTube.”

Burning Questions: How many hours would these dancing doofuses actually last in the wilderness if the production crew was not there to drive them back to L.A. at the end of the shoot?  After the Relaxed Fit Revolution, will Levi’s undertake reprisals against Old Navy?  Can I just wear my jeans, without having to wrestle or kiss a sweaty, shirtless guy?

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I don’t think this is what Walt Whitman had in mind … or maybe it was.

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Unfortunately, 95% of Americans can no longer read unabbreviated words

Overall Loathsomeness: 5.6

Mitigating Factor: When society collapses two years from now, members of the Levi’s Love Brigade will be hunted for their denim.


  1. Hey Levis- Smirnoff's called. They want their schtick back.

    Seriously, I tried to figure out how to snark on this commercial on my own blog, but it was too revolting even for me. I thought having to listen to The Beatles' "Revolution" as a sneaker commercial was bad. This is much, much worse.

  2. I find these commercials to be freaky and psychedelic--they may be quoting Whitman, but somehow they remind me more of that voodoo scene with the black preacher in the movie "The Skeleton Key."

  3. There is a Smirnoff-like youth-anarchist debauchery aspect to this commercial, with a little bit of sexualized witchcraft thrown in for good measure. You might call it "The Road meets Jersey Shore."


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