See the commercial here.
Synopsis: A gastrointestinally-challenged junior high school dork who by the apparent intercession of Almighty God managed to score a prom date with Hannah Montana, then unwisely tried to quell his nervousness by scarfing down a bunch of deep-fried burritos, suffers the ultimate humiliation when his smothering, big-mouthed mom calls the Pepto-Bismol Strategic Command Center to loudly report that he's suffering from nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea, thereby ensuring that he retains his virginity for the next ten years.
Proper "locked arms, both hands at 12" steering technique
"Hello, I'm not gay, how may I help you?"
Gassy smell actually came from swamp creature outside window
Pepto operators possess highest suicide rate in the nation
Message: Losing control over your most disgusting bodily functions at socially decisive moments is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Why can't I be "insta-cool" ?
Here come the chimichangas ...
Subliminal Message: Wherever you find human misery, Pepto-Bismol is there.
Buying you time to get to a toilet since 1901
Memorable Moment: The Juilliard-trained movie actor / recovering alcoholic who agreed to play the Pepto Guy in exchange for food briefly veers off script to reenact the snow globe scene from Citizen Kane.
Allan recalls early years of youthful, carefree digestion
Spoiler Alert: his boyhood colon was named "Rosebud"
Disturbing Aspect: Mom cheerfully ruins her son's life.
"Do you need a clean pair of underwear, honey? Look in my purse."
Yes, this young man has a bright future ahead of him.
Burning Questions: Why did Mom call Pepto for advice after her son already had taken the tablets? Was it really necessary for the queasy kid to display the Pepto box on his knee for the rest of the trip? How long did it take Hannah to find a dress in Pepto pink?
Hannah is no longer upset about forgetting her diaphragm
"I think he might be dead or something, Mrs. Wagner. "
Overall Loathsomeness: 8.5
Mitigating Factor: Hannah suffered only a few minor cuts and bruises when she jumped out of the moving car.