See the commercial here.
Synopsis: On behalf of a giant, inscrutable, Japanese auto manufacturer / organ donor facilitator, a soothing American narrator who sounds like a caring, non-alcoholic version of your father reading you a bedtime story that didn’t come from the TV Guide patiently explains to the company’s surviving customers that making dangerously defective cars and getting yelled at by U.S. congressmen has helped it learn how killing people, though cost-effective, is sometimes bad for business.
“OK, who knows how a gas pedal works? Anyone? Anyone?”
“And I hope they replace you with one of them sexy robots.”
Message: You told us you didn’t want randomly self-accelerating cars that caused fatal accidents -- and we listened.
Postage costs saved by deleting dead warranty holders from recall list
Subliminal Message: Floor mats don’t kill people; people who drive cars with floor mats kill people.
Memorable Moment: Toyota seeks to reassure frightened consumers with stock photos from the Great Depression.
Before computers ran cars, only thing we had to fear was fear itself
Back in 1932, most people couldn’t even afford deadly floor mats
This old prison is now being readied for Toyota executives
Disturbing Aspect: Toyota’s assembly plant workers require intensive retraining to grasp the concept that, ideally, cars don’t drive by themselves.
World’s ugliest building houses world’s dumbest safety engineers
They had to remove this Camry’s entire lower intestine
New doorless sedan offers more legroom and quicker crash ejections
Toyota pledges to double the attractiveness of its line inspectors by 2011
Burning Questions: What is the precise mathematical relationship between corporate share price and criminally negligent homicide? Will future Toyota models come equipped with their own Jaws of Life? Have the Republicans figured out a way to make this whole thing Obama’s fault?
Young Sarah Palin sees Russia from back seat of family’s ’69 Corolla
Overall Loathsomeness: 8.9
Mitigating Factor: Most Americans know at least one Prius owner who actually deserves to die.