See the commercial here.
Synopsis: With donor money left over after paying cover charges at bondage-themed L.A. nightclubs, the National Republican Senatorial Committee launches its 2010 campaign to restore traditional American values by electing insurrectionist candidates who’ve pledged to dismantle the U.S. government, protect profiteering corporations, abandon the environment, and give every citizen-patriot the freedom to be denied health insurance coverage for treatable illnesses.
“Three cheers for excluded pre-existing conditions!”
Washington was taxed so heavily by British, he had to lay off several slaves
Melting Statue of Liberty is benign effect of natural climate fluctuations
Message: Since Obama’s presidency is a clear sign that the End Times are upon us, the best response to our nation’s many serious problems is to do nothing and wait for Jesus, which are the two remaining planks of the Republican platform.
7,000 Americans died on Iwo Jima to prevent gays from getting married
Lincoln honored by G.O.P. Confederate flag displays and threats of secession
Subliminal Message: If the Bible allowed us to use his stem cells, we would’ve found a way to clone Reagan into an avenging army of genetically pure conservatives by now.
Ex-Dem non-churchgoing Hollywood divorcee embodies right-wing beliefs
Memorable Moment: Jimmy Carter passes the torch of socialism to fellow undeserving Nobel Prize Laureate.
Not pictured: President who actually approved AIG bailout in 2008
Warning: ghostly specter of Harry Reid may frighten young children
Disturbing Aspect: The NRSC found a few minority actors so desperate for a paycheck that they were willing to pretend to be Republicans.
At least they weren’t born in some foreign country like Kenya or Hawaii
Migrant worker proudly supports party that wants to deport him
They told him it was for a Benetton ad
Republican Rainbow Coalition gathers at the Capitol
Burning Questions: If the Republicans return to power in the Senate, will they occasionally filibuster their own legislation, just to keep their edge? Has Sarah Palin figured out which periodicals she reads yet? What should I do with all my size XXL “Obama as Witch Doctor” t-shirts after the revolution?
Start packing for Toronto, Baldwin.
Overall Loathsomeness: 8.6
Mitigating Factor: Rush Limbaugh’s OxyContin prescription, Glenn Beck’s shock treatments, and Dick Cheney’s stockpile of spare pig hearts all will be fully paid for under the Republicans’ secret alternative health care plan.