See the commercials here, here, and here.
Synopsis: Rich, materialistic idiots with a dash of non-threatening diversity favoring homes designed by Frank Lloyd Wright and well-tended topiary celebrate the extension of the Bush tax cuts by spending the equivalent of the average middle-class salary on ostentatious luxury cars to offer as creatively-revealed Christmas gifts to their mildly surprised spouses.
When not in use, Mom and Tiffany are stored in their display case
Tough economy means fewer Waterford crystal ornaments on tree
Claire gets unsettling feeling that soul is rotting, waits for Paxil to kick in
A splash of Christmas cheer brightens built-in crematorium
James quiets magic reindeer before parents send him back to see Dr. Klein
Dad will create jobs right after he staples humungous stocking to house
Message: People with picture-perfect lives deserve a car that perfectly reflects their clueless, superficial existence.
They’re getting this home how again?
It’s extra fun because other people have no money for Christmas at all!
Associate recently stripped of health benefits needs more holiday spirit
Nothing honors birth of Jesus like hyper-indulgent present in driveway
If she got me another Beemer, I swear to God, I’m exchanging it …
Discarded box sections later used as festive homeless shelters
Subliminal Message: Now you don’t have to feel guilty about sleeping with your massage therapist.
Next year middle tag will read, “Dad’s Special Friend Stephanie.”
Paul carefully positions family so neighbors can see how happy they are
Too bad there’s not a giant foot in there to kick that guy’s ass
Looks great next to nonsensical hardwood garage door
“I can’t believe you bought it … and in almost the color I asked for!”
Memorable Moment: A 110-pound wife is able to get a 2-ton sedan down a 5 x 15-foot wide chimney and into her in-home auto showroom without waking her husband or leaving tire marks on her polished white floors.
The key is to lift with your legs, not your back
There’s even enough room for a short test drive
Mike suddenly realizes that Tassimo Brewbot for Jen isn’t gonna cut it
Disturbing Aspect: These commercials represent someone’s sense of where our country is at right now.
To avoid holiday crowds, family shops in Lando Calrissian’s Cloud City
Enterprising couple scooped up cozy three-bedroom museum in foreclosure
Perhaps literally the whitest black man in America
Don’t worry – Frederica will clean that up
Burning Questions: Do Jewish people ever buy Lexuses? Does an enormous roll of wrapping paper really require a gigantic tape dispenser and pair of scissors, as well? Has any other advertising campaign in history been more out of touch with the real lives of regular, non-dickhead Americans?
If she runs with those, she could take out entire Russian Army
Overall Loathsomeness: 10.0
Mitigating Factor: By definition, none … but, if there’s a God in heaven, someday everyone who regards obscenely-priced cars as stocking stuffers will get what’s coming to them.