Synopsis: A well-shampooed little girl from the kind of idyllic Rockwellian town that only still exists in the stagnant minds of hard-drinking New York City ad executives fails miserably in her quest to find her unfortunately-named dog until a monolithic cable company looking for a new revenue stream comes to the rescue with a service that the demise of home telephones has already rendered largely obsolete.
Weeks later, parents remembered GPS tracking chip in Waffles’ collar
Waffles would be mortified to see that they used his yearbook photo
The reward is, if you return him, he’ll stop peeing on your rug
Placement of eye-searing signs every three feet is sure to enlist support of local residents
Next voicemail will be about Jessica, but news won’t be as good
Luckily, no one else was using this old set from “Gunsmoke”
Herr Diekmann refuses to discuss what he did during the war
She said “Waffles,” not “Waffen”
Waffles’ favorite toy is chewable replica of Sri Lankan mailman he mauled to death last year
“I guess it wasn’t good that I wished him into the cornfield … ”
While Mom comforts Jess, Dad checks to see if South Florida woman he met on Facebook got photo of his wang
Disturbingly, all 27 voicemail messages are recordings of animal sounds
“Hey … this ‘Audrey Ryan’ sounds a lot like Waffles … ”
In Fakeamericaville, everyone drives cars from the 50’s and lives on farms
Creepy geriatric shut-in cut off one of Waffles’ ears to send with ransom note before he escaped
Waffles has decided he wants to start seeing other people
Loathsomeness: 6.5
Posts
Favorite line= "Waffles would be mortified to see that they used his yearbook photo"
ReplyDeleteIt was clearly a bad hair day.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back; too bad that the ads have gotten worse over the last six months.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dread. Every time I try to get out, they pull me back in.
ReplyDeleteSaw your site for the first time today - It's great.
ReplyDeleteAs for "Waffles" - I don't like dogs but I'd take him in just to get him away from that strange family and strange time-warp town - speaking of which...
I think that those ad execs might be from California, not New York. Through a little effort I was able to make out the name on the street sign by the general store, and it says "Dillon Beach" which is a coastal CA resort town, and the general store is actually real (well, as real as a general store can be in a beach resort town). Whether the rest of the commercial was filmed there, I can't tell.
Meanwhile, as for TWC, much worse than "Waffles" is the continued use of alleged actor Mike O'Malley in a string of commercials where he plays Everymoron. I recognise his evil voice so quickly that I'm able to mute the TV within a nanosecond or two. These commercials easily go to 11 on the loathsomeness scale...
Good eye, DDB9K -- and thanks for your support. We've taken notice of Mr. O'Malley's crimes against humanity, as those TWC commercials play relentlessly in our TV market.
ReplyDelete"Luckily, no one else was using this old set from Gunsmoke"--lol!
ReplyDeleteYou just made me laugh again at my own joke.
DeleteHyderabad Cable Communication, Hyderabad. 229 likes · 4 talking about this. The Hyderabad Cable Communication is The Electronic Media TV cable Service. contact the team
ReplyDeleteNext time I'm in Hyderabad, I'll be sure to look you up.
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