Synopsis: The Cain Train stops in the Arizona desert to make a thoughtful, carefully-reasoned appeal for comprehensive tax reform by simulating the slaughter of a child’s pet bunny.
Small business never looked so adorable
Who’d wanna over-regulate this cute little guy?
At first, the current tax code appears deceptively warm and cozy …
… the perfect place to give birth to a litter of rambunctious new jobs
But suddenly, something seems amiss …
The Democrats’ stimulus plan is a trap!
This can’t be good
IRS agents use vulnerable sectors of the economy for target practice
Medieval catapult has to be returned to the Capital One set by 5:00
We’re all clear that this is totally insane, right?
To avoid getting blown out of the sky by maniacal tax man, rabbit should have filed Form 8892 and Schedule D
Cain Solutions CGI budget was $15
Rabbit’s pathetic squeals of terror really capture the moment
This ad is pretty strange, but no one would ever actually portray a helpless animal getting shot just to make a political –
If you look closely, you can see computer-animated spleen
Even Obamacare can’t save him now
In Florida, this would be considered self-defense
There’s no duty to retreat from a flying rabbit
The really scary part: eight-year-old girl with face of a steelworker
“Any questions, dickhead?”
Ask if she knows how to count to 9-9-9, and she’ll kick your ass
So … the shooter is Stephen Colbert?
In the Director’s Cut, they put the girl in the catapult
Herman Cain calmly awaits the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Somewhere down below, dozens of former female associates rush to final tell-all interviews with People magazine
Apparently one of Cain’s solutions is to drop acid