Synopsis: The National Rifle Association attempts to bolster its public image by using a well-liked president’s children to advance the argument that the most nurturing environment for young kids is a country in which they are surrounded by guns at all times.
Arrows don’t kill people – eagles with arrows kill people
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First Kids’ bulletproof lunchboxes keep Fruit Roll-Ups and nuclear launch codes safe from enemy attack
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Two of our precious little ones take five-minute break from Call of Duty Black Ops before being overcome by fresh air
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Well, yeah, kind of.
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Because 97% of private security guards are alcoholic police rejects
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I would’ve expected hairier forearms.
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Yeah, this is what we want.
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Future site of U.N. Department of American Affairs
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Trusting God is a lot easier when you’re armed to the teeth
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New IRS regulations require all income taxes to be paid in stacks of crisp paper bills
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Looming specter of President Obama also will accept trillion-dollar platinum coins
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The most powerful elites in America: Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Michael Bloomberg, Dianne Feinstein, and … David Gregory?
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In hindsight, group Christmas card photo probably was a bad idea
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Looks like the Secret Service has given up trying to blend in
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NRA members count flying assault rifles to help fall asleep at night
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So, just to be clear – David Gregory’s kids are protected by M16’s?
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Public schools already are learning-free zones
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40-foot sign also repels rocket fire
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If students knew how to read, they’d be outraged
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Little-known fact: King George III wanted to ban high-capacity ammo clips and require computerized background checks at gun shows, but colonists rebelled
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Incredibly, not one of these freedom-loving Americans is obese or staring hypnotically at an iPhone
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If only there was a Second Amendment for cigarettes …
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California is hot, but some find her size intimidating
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The two things the NRA fears most: black helicopters and black presidents
Loathsomeness: 9.4
Posts
Welcome back. I guess this gem was the catalyst to coax you out of retirement.
ReplyDeleteThanks, man. Nice to know I've still got a few fans out there.
DeleteYou're going to pick up more. I've never been to this site, it is hysterical. Love it, sending you on to all my facebook buds. I have to reply as anonymous because I don't see anything else that fits. Where's facebook?
DeleteThanks; that certainly would be appreciated. Here's the link to our Facebook page:
DeletePointless Planet on Facebook
It sort of bothers me that people like this can't see the obvious flaw in their argument: Obama has armed guards watching over his children because he needs to protect them from the crazy people who have unfettered access to guns and an overweening need to blaze away at anyone who displeases them.
ReplyDeleteSounds like more elitist hypocrite talk to me.
DeleteYes, but whose?
DeleteYay! The Editor (he/she/it/they?) is BACK!
ReplyDeleteThe internet is a slightly brighter and more snarky place, and I am thankful :)
"He" :-) Trying to keep at it ...
Delete"Are they President's kids more important than yours?"
ReplyDeleteI had the same thought. "Um, yeah, they sorta are."
Sorry. If YOUR kids get kidnapped, no one has gained emotional leverage over the keeper of the world's largest nuclear arsenal. So yes, they may be precious snowflakes to you, but no one else cares. The world is a cold and heartless place, enjoy your stay.
Precisely.
DeleteOur most decorated marksmen, Audie Murphy, Alvin York, etc. learned to shoot as youngsters - not in six weeks of boot camp. NRA was formed to create a civilian force of marksmen to protect this country from enemies foreign and domestic. NRA teaches firearm safety to youth via the Eddie Eagle program.
ReplyDeleteIs an NRA member who sprays a TEC-9 at water jugs sitting on rusting appliances in his backyard considered a "marksman" ?
DeleteWhat the NRA was formed to do and what it does now are two very different things. Today's NRA counts the federal government -- and any state or local government that enforces a law it doesn't like -- among its "enemies." And many of those bright-eyed Eddie Eagle grads will end up accidentally or intentionally shooting themselves, their friends, or a member of their family.
"many"? Sorry I'm sure you mean well but that's got to be one of the dumbest things I've heard all day. There are over 100 million legal gun owners. If even 1% were as dumb and reckless as you seem to think they are, entire cities worth of people would be wiped off the map from "accidents". Has that happened? Not even close. You should really think before you speak. You have the right not to, but that doesn't make it a good idea
DeleteI don't think a person has to be "dumb and reckless" to misuse an inherently dangerous weapon. The fact that a majority of gun owners, by vigilance or sheer luck, are able to avoid tragedy may make you feel better about the spate of accidental shootings and gun-facilitated suicides that occurs in the U.S. year after year, but it doesn't do much for me.
DeleteDid you see the list of shooters that were Progressive Democrats?
ReplyDeleteI was amazed that so many of them also were born in Kenya.
DeleteWhy don't you look at this video and see if you can twist the facts around in it?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/embed/_T-F_zfoDqI?rel=0
I don't know ... it sounds like a lot of work.
DeleteSecond Amendment - Not to be infringed. Now go back to your job hunt, Sheep.
ReplyDeleteActually, Anonymous, it appears that you're the one with a little extra time on your hands.
DeleteI suppose it would be too facile to add, "Well regulated militia."
If you are so scared of other people that you want to tell them what they can and cannot do, you should just go build a cabin in the woods and not bother anyone...oh, but then you'll have to overcome your fear of guns to find food for yourself!
ReplyDeleteI thought NRA members were more "cabin in the woods" kind of people.
DeleteYou cant talk logic to The Editor, because to understand logic you must have common sense and The Editor has none!
ReplyDeleteYou heard it, folks -- let that be a warning to all of you.
DeleteTruly, this is disgusting. Even with a massive outpouring of awareness and safety campaigns, there doesn't seem to be a solution in sight. My heart goes out to the striking groundskeepers of America's lawns who quietly and internally suffer and squirm at the knowledge that thousands of acres of once trimmed and neat lawns are now a veritable knee-high forest of weeds because of the stubbornness of the Department of Education. When will the madness end?
ReplyDeleteUnion chant: "Lawn mowers don't cut grass; people with lawn mowers cut grass!"
Delete