Synopsis: William Devane shares his deep concern about the precarious state of the global economy and his strong belief in the wisdom of investing in gold as a shelter from financial instability, while millions of baffled TV viewers wonder, “Who is the hell is William Devane?”
William Devane awaits the apocalypse in style
Apparently playing Mayor Kirby T. Calo in “Honky Tonk Freeway” somehow qualifies you to give total strangers investment advice
What’s the debt per forgettable has-been character actor?
Through a mysterious, highly complex chain of events, ethnic rioting in Bosnia-Herzegovina triggers a precipitous rise in the average cost of U.S. gym memberships and Netflix fees
Soon these $100 bills will be worth so little that rich people will be too embarrassed to light cigars with them
Camera crew showed up just as Devane finished burning remains of home’s true owners in exquisite Tuscan stone fireplace
Strange – my father looks nothing like this, and yet it’s exactly how I’ve always pictured him.
Each coin is embossed with the image of Tim Geithner's lifeless body dangling from a sycamore tree
Coins are 97% pure gold, 3% milk chocolate
“Only Rosland Capital can give you the peace of mind that comes with betting your life savings on a mineral that’s value is almost certain to plummet from its current historic high.”
“You heard me – Rosland fucking Capital.”
Shipment arrives on doorstep in bright yellow box, prominently labeled “Caution – Unsecured Gold Inside!”
William Devane’s career acting earnings fit comfortably in book-sized mini-safe
Devane’s ex-wife remembers his elfin pincer fingers all too well
“I don’t always invest in dangerously overpriced precious metals, but when I do, I invest with Rosland Capital.”
Attention burglars: William Devane’s gold stash is hidden behind the “Forest Stream in Melting Snow” painting. I repeat …
Order within the next ten minutes and Rosland Capital will also send you a limited edition Ted Nugent assault rifle and the complete first season of “Doomsday Preppers” at no extra charge.