Introduction: On the momentous occasion of our 100th post, we proudly present the 15 most loathsome commercial characters we’ve encountered along the way. Click on the images below to further explore their horribleness.
“Bill” – Viagra “Reflection” : Heart-to-heart talk with Man in the Mirror leads to pharmaceutical fix for defective wang
“Dave” – State Farm “Hot Tub” : Unlimited, God-like powers provide no inspiration to put on clean shirt
“Shaggy” – Olive Garden “Date Night” : Going out on a date with Mom is wrong, but it feels so right
“Chimichanga Kid” – Pepto-Bismol “Chaperone” : Worst. Prom. Ever.
“Mr. Gray” – Just For Men “Identity Crisis” : More worried about graying hair than being split into two distinct corporeal beings
“Tyler B.” – Epiduo “The Answer” : Acne gone, retardation remains
“Mother Nature” – Tampax “Rapids” : Clever metaphor for menstruation can’t stop sassy kayaker from achieving triumphant victory over reproductive cycle
“Bratty Daughter” – Sudafed “Flash Card” : Sinus problems solved, but still no cure for annoying children
“Devin” – Oscar Mayer “Unanimous” : Exhibit A for the utter hopelessness of our nation’s future
William Devane – Rosland Capital “Safe” : What goes up must come down, except the price of gold and endorsement opportunities for aging, inconsequential movie stars
Brooke Alexander – API “Energy Tomorrow” : Don’t let the smile fool you – she’d hydrofrack your cranium if she could find a way to extract oil from a human brain and sell it overseas
“Bearded Baby” – Just For Men “Baby” : This one speaks for itself. Literally.
“Maggie” – Chevrolet “Big Girl” : Evil has a new name, and it isn’t Howie Long
“A.J.” – Broadview Security “Party” : Listen up, ladies – deep down inside, every guy you meet is a violent sexual predator
“Steve” – Cheerios “Shut Up Steve” : Not at all fat wife has husband’s balls for breakfast
Enjoy!
Posts
I'm disappointed that A.J. wasn't #1...I think Steve winning out must show a male-female bias. ;)
ReplyDeleteA.J. is more popular with the ladies; but for his unparalleled, breathtaking manlessness, Steve had to be our No. 1.
DeletePoint taken. I wonder if A.J. has a new girlfriend?
DeleteHey! Happy Hundredth Post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, man. Glad you've stuck with us.
DeleteMany congrats!!
ReplyDeleteNot to nit-pick, but I'd swap out Chimichanga Kid, as its not really his fault, for Soda Tax Mom.
I can see it's a hard task to narrow it down. So many to choose from. Lexus-bestowing buffoons, cellphone wielding nitwits, Smirnoff iced youth.
And then there's the political stuff...
Thanks, Jason. You're definitely well acquainted with our material. It's true that Chimichanga is really more of a victim, and one can't help but feel a little sorry for him. Soda Tax Mom from AAFT (she undoubtedly would refer to herself as "Food" Tax Mom) certainly deserves a (dis)honorable mention.
DeleteYes, perhaps those horrible Lexus people deserved a mention, too. Maybe next time, we could have a fan vote?
DeleteJason, I forgot all about Soda Tax Mom--I have to agree with you on that one!
ReplyDeleteFor those who may have missed it:
Deletehttp://www.pointlessplanet.com/2009/11/aaft-pennies.html#.UZDq0rXqnu0
The poor woman is just trying to feed her family.
DeleteAh yes...because everyone knows that soda is so high in nutritional value.
Delete