Friday, September 20, 2013

Gen Opp “Exam”

Link 01 Logo 03B

Synopsis: In a reasoned, fact-based policy argument against implementation of the Affordable Care Act, a new conservative advocacy group bankrolled by rich old men tries to persuade middle-to-low income young women to forego health insurance by depicting a historic personification of the United States as a creepy gynecologist who takes delight in probing their freedom-loving genitals.

03
The federal government wishes it could devote more resources to preventing crazed homicidal gunmen from wreaking havoc on U.S. military bases, but it has its hands full secretly monitoring routine health care transactions between law-abiding citizens

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It’s a tedious job, but once in a while, you hit the jackpot

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09
Oh yeah, this one’s going on the “Watch List.“  Heh-heh …

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09A
Kelly went with rolled-up denim shorts, a thin cotton shirt, and no bra for her first gynecological exam

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09B
Socialized medicine has never looked so … hot.

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“Are there any cute doctors here?  Because I just turned 18 … “

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Skinny got no clue what she’s in for.

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“I see you chose to sign up for Obamacare, even though that’s a totally nonsensical statement, because Obamacare is a law, not a health plan, and you don’t ‘sign up’ for it.”

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“Since you’re young and magically immune from major illness or injury, you really don’t need any insurance coverage at all, and you’d be better off just paying a small penalty so you can continue to enjoy your guaranteed good health and avoidance of misfortune without having to fill out lots of annoying paperwork.”

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“Huh – I never thought about it that way … “

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Before proceeding further, Dr. Lopez must confirm that Medicaid recipients don’t need any of Kelly’s organs

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“Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Carrie Prejean?”

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“Yeah; I get that a lot.”

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24A
She’s not – I checked.

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“Okay, now let’s get you into the most gratuitously vulnerable position we can ...“

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“Come on, honey, let’s go – I’m on three death panels today.”

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Kelly’s starting to have second thoughts about letting the bureaucrats in Washington make her health care decisions

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What if Kathleen Sebelius forces her to use birth control or become a lesbian?

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29A
I can’t be the only one getting turned on by this …

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29B
Wait – what the hell is that?

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Oh … that’s pretty neat.  They should have those in shoe stores.

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Due to rationing, they’ll only be able to examine one of her breasts – and a congressional subcommittee decides which one

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“Now wait here while I FedEx your Pap smear to the IRS.”

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I’m pretty sure this also has something to do with Benghazi.

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39
18th century rendering of human brain on wall will come in handy if someone needs an emergency lobotomy

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Kelly and her perfect hair sense that something strange is going on

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40A
Is that …“Yankee Doodle Dandy” ?

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I have to admit, I did not see this coming.

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42A
So, she just gave birth to Uncle Sam?

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If that wasn’t creepy enough for you, here it is again in close-up

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43A
The most disturbing part is that it’s Bill Clinton behind the mask

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“Come on, baby – let me into the Oval Office.”

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45
“I want to show you my stimulus package.”

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I could go on … but that would be in poor taste.

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… except when it comes to determining under what circumstances you’re required to gestate a fetus in your womb

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That’s actually not possible, or even a thing – but, for God’s sake, do it, before it’s too late!

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Hold on – Generation Opportunity needs to make sure this is horrible enough to go viral …

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She’ll never be able to watch the 4th of July parade again

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Because a concerted effort to give everyone in America the ability to afford medical treatment is the worst thing that has ever happened

Loathsomeness: 9.4

17 comments:

  1. I would have to say that this one deserves a full 10 on the loathsomeness scale...in fact, I find it hard to imagine anything more loathsome. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello, The Editor... I discovered this site a couple of months ago and it has provided me with an insane amount of enjoyment.

    If writing is not your day job, there is no justice in the world. Keep up the great work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks; that's very cool of you to say. Writing is now, in fact, my day job, although I may eventually starve to death. Still, it beats practicing law.

      Please keep checking in, and tell every human being you know.

      Delete
  3. http://www.thecommercialcurmudgeon.com/2013/09/lincoln-concierge-commercials-because.html

    You really, really need to do this one. First, it includes frame-by-frame loathsomeness. Second, it's just too disgusting for me to handle on my own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought you made a heroic effort, my friend. But, you're right, I may have to take a crack at it. I put those ads in the pipeline.

      Delete
  4. What's really loathsome about this whole thing is that it stands every chance of panicking idiots into voting against their best interests and perpetuating the waste and stupidity of the private sector.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watching these anti-Obamacare spots, you'd think we had the most wonderful health care system imaginable before passage of the ACA. No rising costs, no policy limitations, no coverage exclusions; no waiting to see doctors, no outside pressures influencing treatment decisions; employers happy to provide full benefits to all their employees, and plenty of alternatives for the unemployed who needed to obtain insurance elsewhere. Yes, we were all living in a health care paradise until Obama came along with his crazy socialist ideas and mucked everything up.

      Delete
    2. What bothers me is that we can't even call the puppet legislators being a spanner in the works evil. They're just stupid.

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    3. For Tea Party conservatives, stupidity is a pre-existing condition.

      Delete
  5. I'm going to segway to terrible dating sites for no reason. But have you seen the farmers only commercials? Jesus. Christ. Something need be done about that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those delightful slices of absurdity have been brought to our attention. They definitely need to be addressed.

      Delete
  6. I am wondering how I can either use my own name, or a chosen name, rather than anonymous. Please advise. I don't know what name/url means. I'm not very tech savvy. Or I am dumb whichever you choose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're no dumber than I, for whatever that's worth, because I'm not sure either. I know you can comment under your own name if you've set up an identity in the Blogger / Google universe, but I don't know how you do it otherwise. Some people commenting here have done it, though, so there must be a way.

      Delete
  7. Is it even worth pointing out she has the gown on backwards?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not for a gyn visit with breast exam.

      Delete
    2. This is only turning me on more ...

      Delete

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