Thursday, March 19, 2015

blu “Freedom”

Link 01 Logo 01A

Synopsis: Respected public health expert Jenny McCarthy invites persecuted smokers to take back their freedom by using a product that causes all the deadly cancer of traditional cigarettes without the embarrassing smelly hair and yellow teeth.

01 
Hard to believe that the talented actress who starred in “Dirty Love” and “Scary Movie 3” has been reduced to this …

-0:01-

01A
She looks like she’s been dipped in Vaseline.

-0:03-

03
If there’s one thing Jenny has always stood for, it’s her unique brand of defiant, all-American sluttiness

-0:04-

04
If there’s another thing, it’s being fucking nuts

-0:05-

05
Pray for Donnie Wahlberg.

-0:07-

07
Change to black and white adds class, hides hair extensions

-0:08-

08
Jenny has no opinion on recent merger of ISIS and Boko Haram

-0:09-

09
Remember, it’s not smoke, it’s vapor, which means it’s okay

-0:12-

12
First take of commercial was ruined when Jenny pulled out garage door opener by mistake

-0:13-

13
It doubles as an idiot self-identification device

-0:13-

13A
“Hey – aren’t you the discarded husk of Jenny McCarthy?”

-0:15-

15
“Jesus – I saw you in Playboy when I was in junior high.“

-0:16-

16
“What are you now, like, 50 or something?”

-0:17-

17A
“When I’m not doing my part to trigger a measles epidemic, I like to unwind by ingesting highly toxic chemicals.”

-0:20-

20
There’s no vaccine for dingbattery

-0:22-

22
“I’ll have sex with you if I can live tweet it during the Clippers game.”

-0:23-

23
“That sounds hot.”

-0:27-

27
Bill Cosby left glass of wine, will return wearing white terrycloth robe

-0:30-

30
Honestly, she’s about as sexy as a parking meter.

-0:35-

35
“I wonder what makes it nighttime … “

-0:38-

38
This must be one of those clubs where no one talks …

-0:40-

40
… which actually is the best possible situation for Jenny.

-0:44-

44
“When I like a guy, I get a little grabby.”

-0:45-

45
“Ooo … these manly shoulders feel strong enough to carry me all the way to the toilet.”

-0:46-

46
“Hope you like girls who aren’t shy about puking.”

-0:46-

46A
“What – too much?”

-0:47-

47
Slick packaging + nicotine addiction – FDA regulation = freedom

-0:50-

50A
“So, take it from me, a woman who’s been publicly spreading false information for years – eCigs are a smarter alternative.”

-0:54-

54
If this notice was legible, you’d see that blu electronic cigarettes are made by Lorillard Technologies, Inc., an affiliate of Lorillard Tobacco Co., which makes the regular cigarettes Jenny just finished bashing.

-0:56-

56 
Screw you, Surgeon General!

Loathsomeness: 9.7

14 comments:

  1. Bravo! Danny needs to run far, far away from this dingbag!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim Carrey was lucky to get out when he did.

      Delete
  2. Jenny McCarthy has a radio show on XM Sirius. I can't even get through the commercials for it without gagging. Im' sure as hell not watching THIS crap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are they just picking radio show hosts at random now?

      Delete
  3. Nice work!!! I'd mercifully missed this ad, and now I have one more thing to be thankful for, because it's apparently not playing during the shows I like.
    Thanks! :)

    As for McCarthy, who the hell keeps giving her work!? Her only marketable attributes, as far as I can tell, are "attractive blonde chick". I live in a college town, and you can't go outside without seeing twenty or thirty women who meet those qualifications, and you can triple that if you remove the "blonde" part. Bonus: These women are educated and don't spread baseless fear about the most important public health breakthrough since "pooping downstream from where you get your water".

    Speaking of smoking, are you ever going to take a swing at that gawdawful "Left Swipe Dat" PSA? Good lord, when I was a kid, we had PSAs telling you to NOT base your behavior based on what other (idiotic young) people think of you, and to not judge a book by its cover. Now here's one whose message seems to be "Shallowness and prejudgement = good. Refusing to conform = bad".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, since I despise smoking, I guess I can live with the shallowness and prejudgment in that ad, if it has any positive effect.

      Delete
  4. The FDA being the FDA, these thing won't be certified deadly and linked to a dozen different life-debilitating diseases for at least another twenty years or so. And neither will Blu Electronic Cigarettes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What's doubly sad is that Donnie Wahlberg actually DOES have some talent (I cite THE SIXTH SENSE as proof)...this is just a travesty all-around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was great in "Band of Brothers" as well. Donnie Wahlberg - half the talent of Mark and none of the racist violence!

      Delete
  6. Remember - vaccines bad - Botox good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm waiting for Dr. McCarthy to claim that nicotine cures autism.

      Delete
  7. the "C" word was invented for this stupid vacuous bitch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Vacuous" is a good word for Jenny, all by itself. If she keeps using those blus, the "C" word she'll be hearing more often is "cancer."

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.