Synopsis: Sexism-supporting supermodel Charlotte McKinney slowly struts past a gratuitous gauntlet of suggestive groceries and bug-eyed creeps before stopping to take an unswallowed bite out of an “all-natural” but still indigestible Carl’s Jr. hamburger.
Typical outdoor farmers’ market excludes hippies, kids, and dogs …
… but welcomes fake-naked supermodels in soft focus
Unnoticed by leering gawkers, fully-dressed woman in background is twice as hot
Charlotte discreetly checks her enormous boobs to make sure they’re having a good time
They seem to be doing okay.
Evidently no male supermodels were available.
What every woman wants – to stoke the sexual fantasies of scrawny, cretinous dirtbags
You guys know that you can see millions of actually nude women for free online, right?
This sure beats taking last month’s Cosmo into the bathroom at the public library
Ted needs a cold shower – or, frankly, any kind of shower
Horticulturalists will require an eight-hour operation to separate these conjoined tomatoes
Unfortunately, only one is expected to live
Carl’s Jr. believes that women react to strangers pinching their butts with mild bemusement
Models usually don’t pay much attention to traveling ice shavers …
… but today is Ralph’s lucky day
Whoops … well, now you know why he can’t keep a girlfriend.
“Nothing comes between me and my 100% all-natural — “
“Hey, listen up – they’re paying me by the double entendre!”
Zero weight above the shoulders proves she’s literally an airhead
The subtle artistry of Carl’s Jr. commercials can be appreciated on so many levels.
Bernard hilariously considers molesting young woman half his age
Alas, he’ll have to settle for another afternoon of stalking college girls in the park
Surprise – it turns out that this nationally-televised restaurant ad subject to FCC regulations does not contain full-frontal nudity.
Sometimes a baguette is just a baguette – but not this time
God bless America.
She’s like a blonde python.
Nothing’s sexier than watching a slice of onion go up a chick’s nose
She’s really enjoying that burger she’s not eating.
Imagine this with limp white lettuce, flavorless unripe tomatoes, and funny-tasting cheese, flattened to the height of one inch, and you’ll know exactly what you’ll get.
Stay classy, Carl.