Synopsis: To rally support in the midst of their NBA playoff series against the Chicago Bulls, the Cleveland Cavaliers produce a hilarious video depicting a menacing-looking Cavaliers fan assaulting his wife for wearing a Bulls t-shirt. Hooray!
Hammacher Schlemmer classic tabletop radio adds touch of refined elegance to any wife beater's home
Mike gets ready for televised basketball game he hopes will magically negate epic string of personal failures
Suddenly theme from “Dirty Dancing” plays on the radio, reminding him he hadn’t been born yet when that movie came out
So many memories of not being alive …
Kelly donned her grandmother’s apron to make a salad
“This is our song, honey – remember? It was playing the first time you said you owned me.”
Mike doesn’t look like he’s having the time of his life.
His demeaning snicker must hide his true romantic feelings.
Wary of her husband’s habitual mood swings, Kelly adopted “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” posture before it was cool
This usually means night will end badly
Kelly closes her eyes and imagines that she lives under the sea, and that Mike has died in a freak accident at the recycling plant
Just as an aside, what is it with all the fruit on staged kitchen tables? Seriously, I challenge you to find one kitchen table in an ad without at least twenty pounds of fruit on it.
Okay, back to this train wreck …
In a subtle form of protest, Kelly put her wedding ring on the middle finger she’d like to give her husband every time he opens his mouth
Note half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s on kitchen counter.
Mike’s whole world is about to get turned upside-down, although not quite as literally as Kelly’s
His wife has expressed a preference that differs from his own!
Not to nitpick, but you’d think after four-and-a-half years of marriage he’d have figured out she was a Bulls fan.
Hoping to avoid the beating she knows is coming, Kelly rushes Mike, but unfortunately neglects to kick him in the balls
Gotta hand it to the Cavaliers – in this day and age, you don’t often see a man violently throw his wife to the floor for comedic effect.
Well, she asked for it.
“Look at what you made me do! And where’s my fucking salad?”
“I shoulda just watched the game at Ray Rice’s house … “
All that’s missing is security cam footage of her getting dragged out of an elevator.
So if you’re a real Cleveland Cavaliers fan, show your team spirit by abusing your wife
That little lady looks like she’s all out! Hee-hee … zing!
It’s funny because she’s seriously injured.
Too bad there’s no such thing as “flagrant fouls” in marriage – right, Kelly? Yuk-yuk-yuk …
That’s women for you – always changing their minds.
“And don’t try that ‘fake ordering a pizza’ trick to call 911, ‘cause all the guys at Domino’s are Cavs fans, too.”
“Thanks for setting me straight, sweetie. As soon as the swelling in my brain goes down, I’ll get you another beer.”
When he passes out in the third quarter, she’ll start dousing him with lighter fluid
“Go Cavs … “
“… and go domestic violence!”